Say YES to Self-Love

We have a little experiment for you today.

Take a minute to complete each of the following two sentences. Don’t think about your answers; just blurt them out, without any modesty – false or otherwise.

I like myself because...

I don’t like myself because…

Nige and Ell did this over pancakes this morning. This is some of what we said.

Nige: 

I like that I am kind and considerate and fun and creative.

I don’t like myself because I think that I’m not educated enough (the fact that I pissed around in all my exams doesn’t count because my parents are to blame anyway). I don’t like myself because I’m quite controlling (notice the word quite!) and sometimes struggle to share how I’m feeling and withdraw especially in my relationship with Elloa.

Elloa: 

I like myself because I’m passionate and sensitive and I care about nature and people, and I feel things deeply. (Nige is now saying, “What about me? I’m caring, aren’t I?")

I don’t like myself because I am so moody (Nige agrees – that’s something I don’t like about him!), and controlling, and I have big hips and wonky teeth (kind of like a hippopotamus that needs to see an orthodontist.) 

What Nige noticed and articulated - in a very educated way - was just how easy it was for each of us in turn to become animated, passionate, convinced and alive when talking about what we don’t like about ourselves. Naming what we do like about ourselves seemed to lack a bit of colour and depth.  

What did you notice?

A Course In Miracles teaches that Spirit and ego are in same place - the mind; every thought you think either aligns with one or the other, witnessing to what you believe about yourself and eventually creating form on some level – without exception.

With practice it is possible to become as animated, passionate and alive about the things I like about myself

as those that I don’t. The choice always comes down to fear or love, but choose wisely because you can’t live in both places at the same time.

However, you can’t expect to just think thoughts like, ‘I am love’ or ‘I am peace’ and really believe them, when you have been giving so much conviction to the unloving thoughts your whole life.

It’s very important to take things slowly, a step at a time, otherwise you may end up attacking yourself for not quite getting it right or not feeling it. You may just end up wearing a spiritual mask, walking around reciting affirmations when really underneath it all you feel like crap.

So, let us all celebrate our victories along the way, and take things one step at a time. Positive statements of truth are useful when used with acceptance. Acceptance really is the key, as is having the courage to examine these beliefs and let them go. Without acceptance, these are just another thing that can be used to attack ourselves.

This much we know: self-love takes practice. 

This is why we are both choosing to focus on 100 things we like about ourselves. It is a demonstration of self-love which will better equip us to extend love to each other and the world.

We are what we think. With our thoughts, we make our world.

Buddha

This post was written by the handsome and incredibly talented Nige and the fabulous Elloa. We hope you enjoyed it - and tough luck if you didn't, because we plan on writing a lot more together.

Follow Elloa's Explorations at http://explorationsofelloaness.blogspot.com/